More than four weeks after losing the 2020 election, Donald Trump, the most pathetic president in modern history, is still insisting the whole thing was stolen from him and that he will serve a second term, despite being laughed out of court more than 50 times in one month. Obviously, the odds of him actually remaining in the White House past January 20, 2021 are somewhere around those of the public finding out he only eats food that he’s foraged himself, or that he’s fluent in Mandarin and has been keeping it from everyone this entire time. Ultimately, he will go away, even if the Secret Service has to drag him from the Oval Office kicking and screaming, his nails dragging along the carpet, leaving orange bronzer streaks from the Resolute Desk to the door. So we don’t actually have to worry about him successfully overthrowing the results of the election, but what we should probably be concerned with are the dozens of Republicans happily, publicly trying to help him execute his coup.

On Thursday, a whopping 106 House Republicans signed their names to an amicus brief sent to the Supreme Court in support of a lawsuit by Texas attorney general Ken Paxton. Paxton, who is reportedly under investigation by the FBI for bribery and abuse of office—allegations he of course denies—falsely claims in his suit that Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, and Wisconsin violated the Constitution by counting invalid votes, and has asked the court to force all four states to throw out every vote cast and, while they’re at it, appoint electors who support Trump.

This followed Wednesday’s equally insane decision by 17 Republican attorneys general to file their own brief in support of Paxton’s suit. While the Supreme Court is not going to actually grant these people their wish, if it did it would, as Slate put it yesterday, “commit the single biggest act of vote nullification in American history, voiding millions of ballots to hand Trump an unearned second term.”

Or as the office of Pennsylvania attorney general Josh Shapiro put it in response to the Supreme Court on Thursday, Texas’s suit rests on a “surreal alternate reality.” It added: “Texas’s effort to get this Court to pick the next President has no basis in law or fact. The Court should not abide by this seditious abuse of the judicial process, and should send a clear and unmistakable signal that such abuse must never be replicated.”

The three other states named in Paxton’s suit, whose election results he is, again, asking the Supreme Court to straight up throw out, had similar responses, which could effectively be summed up as: STFU and GTFO. Respectfully. Per CNN:

Michigan attorney general Dana Nessel addressed the lawsuit with equally strong language, writing that “the election in Michigan is over. Texas comes as a stranger to this matter and should not be heard here. The challenge here is an unprecedented one, without factual foundation or a valid legal basis,” Michigan’s brief said.

Chris Carr, the attorney general of Georgia, put more emphasis on the federalism implications of Texas’s lawsuit in his filing. “Texas presses a generalized grievance that does not involve the sort of direct state-against-state controversy required for original jurisdiction,” he wrote. “And in any case, there is another forum in which parties who (unlike Texas) have standing can challenge Georgia’s compliance with its own election laws: Georgia’s own courts.”

Wisconsin attorney general Josh Kaul similarly cast the lawsuit as an “extraordinary intrusion into Wisconsin’s and the other defendant States’ elections, a task that the Constitution leaves to each State.” The forceful responses—paired with the Supreme Court’s denial of a request from Pennsylvania Republicans to block certification of the commonwealth’s election results earlier this week—mark just the latest repudiations of the increasingly baseless conspiracy theories from the president that his second term is being stolen.

Even Republican senator Ben Sasse said Thursday he can’t see any other outcome than the Supreme Court throwing out the Texas suit, adding that it sure sounds like Paxton is going to ridiculous lengths to help Trump overturn the election because he’s hoping for a presidential pardon. “I’m no lawyer but I suspect the Supreme Court swats this away,” Sasse said in a statement. “From the brief, it looks like a fella begging for a pardon filed a PR stunt rather than a lawsuit—as all of its assertions have already been rejected by federal courts and Texas’s own solicitor general isn’t signing on.” Still:

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Report: The Biden administration plans to basically cover the entire White House in bleach before moving in

Can you blame them?

Because the coronavirus can linger on surfaces for multiple days, a team deployed by the General Services Administration will go over every part of the White House's East and West Wings touched by human hands in the hours after Trump departs and Biden moves in, a spokesperson from the agency confirmed to Politico. That includes plans to “thoroughly clean and disinfect” all furniture, doorknobs, handrails and light switches, before Biden and his team move in. Additionally, a private contractor will provide “disinfectant misting services” to clear the air of lingering droplets.

Just to be safe, they should probably also bring in an exorcist too. You can never be too careful.

Mitch McConnell rejects bipartisan relief plan because f--k you, that’s why

In case it wasn’t abundantly clear already, the Senate majority leader could not give less of a shit about the millions of Americans whose lives hang in the balance. Per CNBC:

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s staff informed congressional leadership offices that Senate Republicans likely would not support a $908 billion bipartisan proposal, according to NBC News. Politico first reported the Kentucky Republican’s plan to brush aside the plan, which members of his caucus have helped to craft. Congressional leaders continue to stress the importance of approving a rescue package in the coming days to prevent about 12 million Americans from losing unemployment benefits and stop families across the country from getting tossed out of their homes.

Despite a flurry of activity to try to reach a deal, lawmakers still have not resolved disputes that have driven months of failure to respond to a once-in-a-century health and economic crisis. It remains unclear what kind of package could garner the support of both the GOP-controlled Senate and Democratic-held House. On Thursday, Democrats again endorsed the bipartisan talks…. Speaking on the Senate floor Thursday, Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., described the bipartisan negotiations as “the only real game in town” to craft a bill that could get through a divided Congress. He contended McConnell has tried to trip up those talks in favor of a plan that includes only policies Republicans support.

McConnell, a shameless power-hungry hack, claimed on Thursday that it’s Democrats who are trying to delay getting relief to Americans. He’s backed legislation of roughly half the amount proposed by the bipartisan group, and it includes neither additional federal unemployment benefits nor direct payments. ’Cause that’s just the kind of swell guy he is.

Elsewhere!

N.Y. Flirts With COVID Record After Months of Controlling Cases (Bloomberg)

FDA Advisory Panel Approves Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 Vaccine (WSJ)

First “second gentleman” will teach at Georgetown Law next spring (Politico)

Doug Jones is on Biden’s attorney general list, along with Sally Yates, Merrick Garland, and Deval Patrick (Politico)

Airbnb Tops $100 Billion on First Day of Trading, Reviving Talk of a Bubble (NYT)

Gary Cohn Shrugs Off Goldman’s Demand for Pay With Check to Charity (Bloomberg)

CDC director allegedly ordered deletion of email showing effort to interfere with coronavirus guidance, lawmaker says (Washington Post)

Morgan Stanley pledges $2 million for struggling street food vendors (NYP)

Mnuchin defends controversial loan to private equity-backed firm in contentious Hill hearing (Washington Post)

Portable toilets “sing” Christmas carols in festive display (UPI)

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